Reluctant Money-Grubbing Slug

Three days into week #3 at my contracted UX gig and a few things have come to light: The reason I found myself working then sitting and waiting for hours to talk to the Director about that work, is because the client is not high priority (read: we’re doing free work) therefore the UX I’m doing is also not high priority, particularly because I’m being paid by the client and not the agency (because the agency isn’t being paid, see). This has resulted in what will amount to about 104 billed hours but only about 10 actual working hours. I’ve been sitting around. A lot.

I’ve discovered something about myself in this barren wasteland where duty should live and that is: I want to work. Friends who are aware of my situation have reminded me that I’m in an ideal moment, being paid to job search, online learn, and poke around websites, oh and do occasional design as needed. But that’s not what I’m here for, it’s not what I’ve fought and studied and moved and worked for, for a year and a half. I want to do UX design. I want to work.

If I had to guess, I’d say 90% of humanity would love to be paid to sit and do basically nothing and I get that, I really do, but when I show up every single day at 9 am after driving in rush hour traffic with the worst drivers I’ve ever experienced, sit for eight hours doing anything I can do to keep myself occupied and entertained, then drive back home at 5 in that same traffic without a single thing to show for my time (but a paycheck), it kills my morale. I find myself getting jealous of the two graphic designers who sit near me, as they work on their stuff all day and every day.

It’s no one’s fault, not really. The client had unreasonable expectations for time and content, the agency had to bring me on to do work to show that client that it was happening. The client determined how much they’d pay me, not the agency. The Creative Director is crazy busy, I am but one plate spinning among many, but he simply hasn’t made time to speak to me about the project in two days and here I sit.

Lord help me, I don’t know how I will get through the next two days, 16 hours, of doing absolutely nothing but be online. Got any good websites for me, people? Anyone? Anyone at all? Sigh.


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