Chivalry is not dead, not if you keep it alive. Ladies, assuming you don’t have a deep problem with men showing this type of respect not only should you let them but it’s ok to subtly demand (ok, maybe “encourage” is a better word) it. My friend’s mom tells a story about how she would walk with her family to a door and then stand slightly to the side, giving her young son the cue to hold the door for her. That young son is now somewhere around 35 and he still does it, even when he gets grief from women who don’t appreciate it.
As the younger men are coming up, so many of these things are falling aside. Women with sons, raise them with these acts in mind. Ladies who date men who may not do these things, it’s ok to let them know you want and appreciate them. Men, take note. While the bra burners are still out there, for every one of those there is a woman who remembers these kindnesses. I’ve dated men who always hold doors, all doors, and men who never do. I don’t fault the ones who don’t, chances are they were never expected to and if you make up for it by offering me a hand on unsteady terrain or getting into or out of an awkward spot, that counts. If it doesn’t come naturally to the relationship I don’t force it, but if I’m dressed up and we’re on a date you better believe I expect it at least some of the time. Fancy frock and heels to a nice dinner versus jeans and Chucks to a bar don’t always demand the same behaviors. I’d like to say that dress and occasion don’t matter, and perhaps they shouldn’t, but sometimes they just do.
Three times in my life have I had older men stand when I’ve walked into a room, and I will never forget all three of those times. It made them feel like gentlemen and made me feel like a lady. It elevates behavior and mindfulness on both sides. Long live chivalry, may it never die.
The more women I talk to, the more I realize that the gentleman is a rare breed. The mission of the New Chivalry Movement is to bring men (and women) together who strive to be the best versions of themselves and love and respect those around them.
As the gentleman has become less prominent, so have the respectful acts that define him.
Here are 8 acts of chivalry we often overlook and should work to bring back.
Giving up your seat.
Whether on a bus or on a crowded subway, giving up your seat to another is a rare but great sign of respect. I always cringe a bit when I see a woman or elderly person forced to stand while young men remain distracted by their phones. It all comes down to being aware of your surroundings and acting accordingly.
Only one in seven men will offer their seat…
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