Fatty McFatterson from FatTown, Fatsburg, D.C.

      I once read an article about why people get fat after they get married and it basically said, that (traditionally) women do the cooking according to their husband’s appetites so when they make a potentially large meal and divy it up on the plates, they inevitably give themselves equal portions. On one hand, ladies were feeding their husbands until they said, “stop, woman. For the love of God” (said no man ever) and on the other, they wanted to be with their hubbies until the meal was through so rather than sit with an empty plate, they attempted to keep pace with the chewing man. Thus, too big a portion and too large a pant size. That stuck with me and I’ve been mindful of it ever since I began cooking for boyfriends. 
      Having moved back from my tour abroad in Cleveland about two months ago, I’ve split my time between the apartment where my stuff lives and the apartment where my boyfriend lives. It’s been a schizophrenic lifestyle that I’ll frankly be very happy to see change. The upsides have been several though, two of which involve a really beautiful city view and the fact that my man can cook. Our cooking styles are totally different though, in that he follows tested recipes and is always looking for more whereas I wing it. He tends to do lunch or dinner, I take breakfast. Whoever cooks, the other cleans. It’s a pretty good system (except for when he cooks because I hate doing dishes). Sometimes I’m inspired, sometimes I just want a bowl of cereal. This morning however, I woke up with one sole thought: Potatoes. 
Skillet sans Skillet

2 medium-sized Russet potatoes (or 4-6 smaller red), skin on
1/4 cup yellow onion, diced
1/4 cup bacon*, chopped
1t. garlic, minced
2-4 eggs, your choice
1t. tarragon
Salt, pepper, paprika to taste
2T butter and/or oil

Melt 1/3 of the butter into a non-stick 10″ skillet
Half potatoes, then slice into 1/4″ (at most) pieces, add to pan 
When potatoes become translucent but not brown, add onion and cook for 5 minutes 
Add bacon until well cooked but not crispy 
Sprinkle tarragon and toss
     Turn heat down to medium-low
Add garlic last and let cook for about 6 minutes
Add salt and pepper to taste

Cook eggs using remaining butter/oil (I prefer over medium so I do each serving separately)

*** Cooking time will totally depend on how thick your potatoes are so you will have to wait and see with regards to adding the next round of ingredients. Basically, the onion and garlic will cook fast and you don’t want them to burn or scorch.

Divy up serving and top with eggs
Salt, pepper and paprika before serving

There is virtually no way to do this scientifically and the only way to really screw it up is to undercook the potatoes and overcook the eggs (which I do occasionally). Even when it’s slightly screwed up, it’s still good. 

* If you have a Trader Joe’s nearby, go to their meat section and pick up a package of their Bacon Pieces. It’s about a half pound of odds and ends cuts of their house brand smokey bacon and it’s absolutely perfect for things like this. Finding it in the fridge after lamenting a lack of breakfast meats in the house is particularly satisfying.

                                                                 Hers and His. It’s a process.

     This garnered about six “This is great, babe” and one, “Sexy” so I’d call that a hit. Frankly the portions looked and felt a little small, I probably would increase it by another potato’s worth of ingredients, but for a first outing I think it worked out very well.
Now if you’ll pardon us, we’re going to take a walk in the first daytime snowfall of the year. Happy Saturday, friends!

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