Top Chef, episode 8

Already? Ok I slacked last week, I admit it. The cheftestants are back, welcome to episode 8.

ADHD Andrew and Spike might be gay. And by gay I mean lame and very comfortable with each other in that way that only reality shows make guys. There’s something sort of Michael Scott about Andrew… don’t you think? Smiley and clueless.

The remaining four women comment on being the remaining four women, the only women to make it to close to the end in the History of Top Chef. Setup? Duh.

Chef Tom is in the room for the Quickfire Challenge. Padma says no more immunity for the Quickfire winners. Dang.

Quickfire Challenge (which begs the question, what’s the point?): Two groups of four, relay race. It looks like a prep relay. Sous chef type stuff, which I think a lot of these guys are so that shouldn’t be so horrible.

Ah hah! Dale asks the question I always ask when faced with people that don’t know how to do the basics like Nikki and her mayo: “how are you still here?” Thank you, Dale. You might be my favorite… especially since I haven’t picked one yet.

Boy I **love** Monkfish, but that is the ugliest thing I have ever, ever seen. Ever. I’ll still eat the heck out of one though. Bring it!

Dale loses and gets upset about it, punches something and thinks his teammates are fools. Not a good way to start the episode, Daley. Hmm. Ok given what I just said about being my favorite, it’s not like I have a thing for dudes with tempers (or short Asians for that matter). I just like that he rolls his eyes at the same time I do and doesn’t like who I don’t like. Food schmood!

Elimination Challenge: Cater a wedding reception – a STRAIGHT PEOPLE reception! Bravo is so open-minded. 125 guests. Couple runs their own restaurant and are extra picky. Winning team picks the bride, losers pick the groom (do we ever). $5,000 budget, access to Whole Foods and Restaurant Depot (wholesale supply house), 14 hours to do it all, which means working through the night. Someone’s gonna get punched and I’m thinking Dale is the one to do the punching.

Oh mama, Restaurant Depot. You need a special license to shop there and I’ve always wanted to but never been able to. It’s basically Costco for the restaurant folk. Food and decor. Such a friggin nerd I am.

I’ll spare you the cooking details. Suffice to say, ADHD Andrew is making me crazy with his chatter and his “dude”. Sigh. And it appears I spoke too soon about Dale. He is trying to do too many things well, and I always say that can’t be done. He’s not communicating with his team and he’s burned his filets. The team doesn’t like him. The cheftestants want to collapse somewhere around 5 am. Fair enough. Also, the background music sounds exactly like the score for American Beauty.

I realize this is a challenge, but I would never accept a bunch of beat down tired chefs making my wedding food. No way.

Gale Gand of tru, is one of the judges. And I’m guessing she’s not a fan of the thick-cut, too cripsy bruscetta. That is a food pet peeve of mine, I might add.

Holy crap. Ok let’s take a moment to point something out, here. Two things, actually. One, I attended a wedding at that same location last summer and I know that’s it because the last name of the groom is the last name of the owner and namesake of the space. Two, the guy that said “let’s eat” is the trumpet player for a big band that plays at the Green Mill, a place I used to go every Thursday night when I lived in Rogers Park. His name is Matt Lewis and I had a huge crush on him. Wow… really. Weird. Ok anyway.

Wise move keeping Andrew in the kitchen and away from the guests. Dale looks miserable cooking in there with him, but just tired not stabby.

Judging time and the only person they’re practically easing out the door is Dale, based on editing.

First up: bride’s team, winners.
Brisket, short ribs bites, pizza, cake, chicken – this bride is the bride I hope to be. Brisket! Richard wins the whole enchilada and honorably gives it to Stephanie who gets a $2K gift card to Crate and Barrel, who honorably splits it with Richard. Aww.

Next: groom’s team, losers.
Pasta, fish, pesto, filet, cake – meh. That’s nice but it’s no brisket. They like Lisa’s cake better. They did not like the pasta, the pizza crusts were dry, the filet was overcooked (almost all Dale issues but he doesn’t realize that yet). Loved Spike’s sea bass. Nikki is getting reamed for not stepping up since she’s the Italian menu expert – so it’s between those two.

Adios, Nikki.

Huh… that was either some BS editing, or Dale was right when he rolled his eyes at her for not being able to make mayo by hand. Fair enough, temper or not, at least Dale knows his basics and for that he gets props (but he did take too much on and didn’t do any of it well – also bad).

Next week: Guest judge prediction is Rocco. Someone’s sabotaging the chefs and it’s one of their own. He’s calling from inside the house!


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